Every growing list o' things to say to your favorite cross racer  


Whats your favorite TAKE THE SURVEY 


  1. Need a fresh pair of panties or are you going to start pedaling now?
  2. See all those youngsters passing you? Get a move on, gramps!
  3. Pick that bike up, those barriers aren't going to jump themselves!
  4. Your mama's so fat... but at least she bikes faster than you!
  5. You want a juice-box handout? Cuz you're definitely not pedaling fast enough to earn a beer handout!
  6. Get off the course... there's a race going on!
  7. F for effort!
  8. Do you need a leash for that bike? Cuz you sure do walk it a lot!
  9. Start pedaling there, buttercup, or we will put the training wheels back on!
  10. My grandmother has better legs then yours!
  11. Your Mom called she wants her legs back
  12. It's a RACE not a ride!
  13. H.T.F.U
  14. ​Are you lost?
  15. ​You're slow enough to grab all those handups - so take advantage
  16. Are you crying?  There's no crying in cyclocross!
  17. It's great that you can make those fast SRAM or SHIMANO components go so slow!
  18. ​Don't worry you're not last your like third to last!
  19. ​Is this your recovery day?
  20. You're getting beat by a kid that doesn't have his drivers license yet!
  21. You're getting beat by a guy\girl so old that there grand kids are grown up and gone!
  22. You're getting beat by a guy\girl so old they are have AARP!
  23. Please get off the course there's a race going on!
  24. To a Masters racer - Didn't know you guys needed to warm up I thought you just got hot flashes!
  25. How'd you get so far back so fast?
  26. Don't be a loser pass that guys and make him a loser!
  27. I thought you wore your big boy or girl panties today?
  28. Get to the pits your bike needs a rider change!
  29. Wife to husband or husband to wife - I didn't come all this way to watch you suck!
  30. All of your excuse are ahead of you. You're going to have to ride faster to get one!
  31. I hope you can speed up that GoPro footage so people think you were racing!
  32. Get off the course they already started the next race!
  33. That's a nice bike but why is it so slow?
  34. ​You're doing great only 6 more laps to go....when it's actually 1 or 2

Heckling 101